At school today, David, who totally sits to my right, was wearing these big earrings, and I was looking at them when the teacher was talking. They were silver and they stretched out his earlobes an inch and a half. In the middle where his earlobe should be was a banner with a tiny heart and "Mom" etched into the heart.
I told him "I like your earrings."
He said, "they're not earrings."