Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Snacks and Catheters

Pet Peeves:

- terminal illness
- when cats smile or move around
- "Oooooh myyy Godddddd, Yooouuu'veee nevvvverrrrr seeeeeeeeeeen the MATRIXXXXX?!?!!????"
- sports fans can be pretty bad
- grass, growing
- when I accidentally step on a dead thing- like a bird- and get a boner
- when I'm f**king like three chicks at once and the two blondes start arguing over who gets to finish me off; it really peeves me out cause I'm like, "ladies I'm right here!"
- 3 piece bathing suits,, where does the third piece even go?
- when I tell a joke and the only person who gets the joke actually sucks
- arms

Friday, November 11, 2011

School today

At school today, David, who totally sits to my right, was wearing these big earrings, and I was looking at them when the teacher was talking.  They were silver and they stretched out his earlobes an inch and a half.  In the middle where his earlobe should be was a banner with a tiny heart and "Mom" etched into the heart.
   I told him "I like your earrings."
  He said, "they're not earrings."

The First Recipe: Tantalizing Berries!


2  strawberries

9  strawberries (optional)

4  tablespoons sugar (optional)

        With a sharp knife, cut the leafy greenery from the top of the strawberries or use your mouth to remove the strawberry from the leafy greenery.  Put the remaining de-leafed strawberries into a bowl or glass and coat with sugar to taste.  Use a spoon and a circular motion originating from the elbow to incorporate the sugar into your mix.  Serve chilled.